


Expect the Unexpected

by julien (julie)



Category: Men in Black (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1997-10-10
Updated: 1997-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22839142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/julien
Summary: Detective James Edwards decides to join the Men in Black – and his new partner Agent K is one of the reasons why. But K has plans of his own…
Relationships: Agent Jay/Agent Kay (Men in Black), Agent Jay/Laurel Weaver | Agent Elle (Men In Black)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Expect the Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** I wrote this after seeing the first film. We subsequently discover that K’s apartment is nothing like I imagined, but that’s ‘live’ fandom for you! 
> 
> **First published:** in my zine Homosapien #5 on 10 October 1997.

# Expect the Unexpected 

♦

An offer had just been made to Detective James Edwards of the NYPD; an offer of a real kick-ass job. By tomorrow he could be an Agent for the Men in Black, protecting the Earth from the scum of the universe. It was a job that would provide a suitable challenge for even James's physical and intellectual prowess. The only catch was that James would lose any identity outside the MiB, he would sever every human connection. Agent K had given him until sunrise to decide. 

James sat there on the bench in Battery Park, watching the sinking sun cast gold on the choppy waters of the North River. 

He already knew he'd say yes – how could he resist? There was something that gave him pause, however. One thing. And that was it was far too easy. It shouldn't be this easy to walk away from his regular life. 

Severing connections was not a problem when there was no family to consider, no real girlfriends, few friends. James had been working undercover alone for over two years now, so there were no partners or colleagues to farewell him. 

He was alone. 

It didn't feel so bad. 

James was going to join the Men in Black. 

♦

In short order, Detective James Darrel Edwards III became Agent J, and exchanged his baggy street gear for a black suit, white shirt, black tie and Ray-Bans. It was pretty cool. They could have designed the uniform just for James. J. 

His new partner was pretty cool, too. Agent K had obviously spent a lifetime turning deadpan into an art-form. J found the guy so damned droll, though he suspected K liked people to believe he had no actual sense of humor. 

Things were going fine. His first morning, J played midwife to an alien baby who was darn cute even though she – he – it proceeded to vomit all over him. Things got odder that night. The beautiful Dr. Laurel Weaver, medical examiner, came on to him while both she and J were wrist-deep in an alien corpse… Hallelujah for the sexual revolution and all that, but even J had been a bit taken aback. 

Late that night, K took him to the Empire State Building. K had a pass key that seemed to get him in anywhere, open or closed. Once they'd keyed their way in through the main doors, the lone security guard in the foyer seemed disinclined to argue. 'I'm Commander North from NORAD,' K told him, with the authoritative tone that didn't need credentials to back him up. 'This is Commander Thomas –' 

'Hell,' J said, 'the truth won't hurt him.' He announced, 'I'm Perfect Tommy from the Banzai Institute,' which earned him a dry glance from K. Anyway, he figured K was all set to wipe the poor guy's memory with his flash-thingy-device on the way out of there. 

'I'm gonna be issued one of those keys, right?' J said once the two of them were in the elevator. Gold credit cards – who needed them? 

'Perhaps.' 

They reached the viewing platform at the top of the building, and stepped out into the cold night air. Everything around them was deserted, empty. Dim, because only the exterior spotlights were on. New York, alien now in different ways, was oddly peaceful at this distance. 

'So, what's happening? We got a surveillance-thingy up here, or something?' 

K gave him a brief, tight smile, apparently appreciative of J's creative thought processes. 'No.' 

'Then why are we here?' 

A pause lengthened. 

J took a deep breath. Another. It was indeed possible for him to be still and quiet sometimes. At last K said, 'It's been a long time since I came up here and… just looked.' 

'Uh huh,' J agreed flatly. Well, it _was_ kind of beautiful, seeing New York like this, all towers of fairy lights, and the streets were rivers of fire-flies or something. Whatever. 

'She was right, you know,' K said, apparently inconsequentially. 

'What? Who was right?' 

'Dr. Weaver. You do have pretty eyes.' 

J was even more taken aback than he had been the first time he received the compliment. 

An unexpected question followed hard on its heels, asked in the same direct demanding manner K had used all day. 'What's your view on alternate sexualities?' 

J gaped for a moment, but recovered as quickly as he usually did. _'Personally?_ Anything involving consenting adults and privacy is fine by me. Law doesn't always agree.' 

Another pause. A long one. 

Looking about him, J added it up. 'You're coming on to me…?' 

No reaction. 

J laughed. _'You're_ coming on to me. And you brought me up here to do it? You old romantic, K. I'm impressed. I wouldn't have thought you'd seen _Sleepless in Seattle_.' 

' _An Affair to Remember_ ,' K dryly corrected. 'I did have a life, but it was a long time ago.' 

'Man, it must be the suit: I'm getting _way_ lucky tonight.' J cast a considering look over his partner. K stood there, as cool and expressionless as ever despite the subject matter. J said, 'Hey, I'm a nineties man, I don't have no hang-ups. And I can see that, working with all this weird shit, the lines are gonna blur so much they're nonexistent. Gender becomes less of an issue than planet of origin.' 

A brief smile met that conclusion. 

'Same species,' J continued: 'thank heavens. Different race: that's cool. Same gender: interesting…' 

'I'm not averse to a little miscegenation,' K remarked. 

'Hell, you must be pretty much up for anything.' 

No reply. 

'OK, no – you're the old-fashioned guy with a yen for his childhood sweetheart…?' 

'And for now I'll make do.' 

'No, no, no,' J protested. 'You see – you wanted me, _you_ chose _me,_ you know a good thing when you see it. So don't give me none of that it-was-nice-but-don't-call-me jive in the morning. And no flash-thingy, either. You can't be having your way with me all the time, and then making me conveniently forget about it.' 

'No neuralyzer,' K agreed. 'I take it that's a yes.' 

J smiled at him, charmed almost despite himself. How could this deadpan guy broadcast so much charisma? It made no sense. 'I have to tell you, though, K,' he warned, 'I like being in the driver's seat when it comes to sex. It's not a control thing, it's not a Neanderthal macho thing. I just like doing the driving.' 

In a rough deep voice K said, 'I'm no passenger, junior,' and then he dragged J close with one hand round his nape, for a kiss. 

A kiss which was as clever as K himself, just as direct and just as subtle. J found himself seduced by it, enlivened by it; and he returned the kiss with his own brand of impetuous energy. Too early to tell, yet, exactly what this would be like – but the beginning was promising. Very promising. 

J broke away and asked, 'We can take the rest of the night off?' His hands, having minds of their own and knowing what they liked, were soothing and gentling around K's waist. J figured his expression was probably just as gentle, but that was all right. He was fond of this guy already. 

'We can break for lunch.' 

'It's three in the morning!' 

'We're working a thirty-seven hour day, J.' 

'James. We do this, you call me James.' 

K shook his head once, a brief firm negative, and stepped out of reach of J's hands. 

J persisted. 'And you would be…?' 

'It's thirty-five years since I did anything unwise,' K said, effectively sidetracking the conversation. 

'Weird but wise,' J murmured, thinking that was one hell of a way to live a life. He smiled at his new partner. 'OK. Let's do it.' 

'Not here, slick…' 

♦

K's apartment could have been a sixties science fiction movie set; all black and glowing white and chrome. There was a painting on the wall that was so abstract it was almost hypnotic. The furniture was absurdly minimalist: the bed was a square mattress resting on a square black base, with a white sheet pulled into tight hospital corners. Right now, it looked inviting and with good reason, but J couldn't imagine actually _sleeping_ on it. Not stinting on the doubting tone, he asked, ' _I'm_ gonna get an apartment like this?' 

'Yes.' 

Something about K's voice meant there was a hidden layer of meaning or two to the simple affirmative, but J didn't bother chasing that down just now… J missed his old mess of an apartment already, but he'd promised to sever all connections, all identity. He'd been assured the sacrifice would be worth it. 

K had begun undressing him; unbuttoning J's suit jacket in exactly the same matter-of-fact manner with which K had accepted a cup of coffee from the worm-like aliens down at MiB headquarters… Not wanting K to get ahead, J started undressing the man as well, matching him item for item until they were both down to their regulation black boxer shorts. 

A moment passed as they assessed each other. K was in pretty good shape for an old guy; J was happy enough with what he saw. And J figured that K must be plenty happy with what he saw, despite the bland expression that K directed at him; J was black and buff and proud. 

From nowhere that J could see, K produced a sleek black remote control; he pressed a button before tossing the remote to land neatly by the bed. Music surrounded them, crisp and clear. 

_Well, bless my soul, what's wrong with me?_

K stepped close again, palmed J's nape, and drew him down the inch's height-difference to kiss him. Those lips were just as clever as last time, that tongue just as stylish. 

_My friends say I'm acting queer as a bug,_ the King sang. _I'm in love. I'm all shook up._

Dry, K's kiss was; but not in a bad way. Dry, like a martini was dry, like K's wit was dry. J stood there for a while, enjoying that, his hands at last drifting to the man's waist. 'You know,' J finally murmured, 'you are one excessively serious deadpan dude, K. So what's gonna give when you let go? _That's_ what intrigues me.' 

And, taking the lead, J backed away towards the bed, bringing K with him. The simple feel of another warm body shifting and moving against him was nice, the genderless intimacy of skin against skin, the masculine strength pitted against his own. They were kissing, holding, wrestling to and fro; balancing the surrender to gratification against the need to remain in the driver's seat. It was fair to say there was some tension between them. Soon J wanted to lose the boxers. 

But K wasn't cooperating. The wrestling became serious. As a cop, J had manhandled his share of drunks: if he could undress and clean up a three-hundred-pound guy, and topple him onto a single bunk in the drunk tank for the best night's sleep the slob'd had in a year, then he could get a pair of shorts off his damned partner… 

He'd have _thought_ he could deal with a pair of shorts. But K wasn't getting with the program. Every time J got some leverage, K would pin him down in another hold. J said, 'You're not getting bashful on me, are you?' 

'Nah,' was the careless reply. A kiss ensued, distracting in its piquancy. K did something deft with his free hand – and suddenly J was naked, and his boxers were being tossed to land with the rest of his uniform… 

'Man, how'd you do that? Is there some funny kind of button-thingy on these?' 

Face bland, K demonstrated with his own. 

Button-thingys be damned. J discovered he was far more interested in rubbing up against his partner without the barrier of cotton. K settled over him, moving in a syncopated beat, a counterpoint to the music. It was kind of mesmerizing… 

J tried once more to push up, to dislodge the man and take the lead again; but K simply accommodated his move. The pleasure was intense, and it shouldn't have been. K insisting on keeping control – and that should have had the same effect on J as a cold shower. Because J had long ago figured one of the things he knew for sure about himself was that he liked to be in control of moments like this. And now – well, just for now he wasn't so certain. K was doing a fine job in the driver's seat, and maybe it wasn't worth fretting over the fact that J was being taken along for the ride. Because it was, not to mince words, a mighty fine ride. 

Nevertheless, J wasn't interested in lying there passively. He met that rhythm and augmented it; he initiated all the kissing K could handle, from clever kisses to urgent to soft kisses and back again; he let his hands wander and provoke wherever they wanted. 

Judging from K's expression, the man mightn't have been doing anything more energetic or involving than walking in the park. Though J was wistfully wanting more from his partner, he decided there was no point in holding himself back; J might as well just go with what his body was telling him… 

So, when the end threatened, J gave himself over to the truth of it, and the orgasm resounded through him clear as a bell. It was pretty damned incredible, given that it was only caused by some old white guy rubbing up against him. 

_Don't be cruel,_ pleaded the King, _to a heart that's true._

When he thought J wasn't looking, K came, too, with an oddly quiet and matter-of-fact intensity, as if _everyone_ did it that way. And just for one blessed moment they made eye contact, and J saw right through the grumpiness and the deadpan manner, the layers of duty and disappointment, saw through the cynicism to the man's beautiful soul. There was someone in there, buried deep, still capable of surprise, still possessed of a sense of wonder. 'J,' K said, as if it was wrenched out of him. 'J…' 

But he didn't say James. 

♦

They lay there together in the afterglow, both on their backs staring up at the infinitely white ceiling, the sheet all mussed up beneath them. Perhaps they wouldn't even be touching if K had anything to do with it, but J let a hand fall casually on K's forearm and a knee nudge against K's thigh. 

'So you really meant it,' J eventually said. 'No human contact ever again. No normal everyday relationships. And that means sex with… my fellow agents. My partner.' 

'Don't flatter yourself' 

'You're giving me that this-can't-happen-again jive… I told you not to.' 

_Well, since my baby left me,_ the King sang, _I found a new place to dwell._

'Hey, I _know_ that was good for you, man.' 

_Down at the end of Lonely Street… Heartbreak Hotel._

K reached for the remote, and the music was replaced by a silence so profound that J thought of black holes. Then K said, 'Time to get back to work, slick.' 

Well, J wasn't gonna waste his breath arguing if he wasn't gonna win. The two of them got dressed, avoiding each other's gaze. 

At the door, though, J spun around and drew K close with his arms around the man's waist. 'The polite thing to do would be kiss me goodbye,' J informed him. 

A sardonic look. 'All right, tiger.' And they kissed; a nice kiss that was almost sweet in contrast to all the other kinds of kissing they'd done. 

'Call me James,' J whispered when they broke apart. 'Just once.' A hint of reluctance passed across K's face before it blanked again. 'Hey, I'm not asking for your phone number or anything.' 

K punched a code in to the lock on the door. J let him go. As they were walking out, K said, 'I can't do that, J.' The door swung closed behind them, and they were in the hallway. 'And you can't call me Kyle.' 

A beat of silence passed, and then a huge grin painted itself across J's face. 'Kyle,' he said, and he grabbed the man, pushed him up against the wall for one last kiss, a hungry kiss this time. A ravenous kiss, as if he, too, had been holding back the best of him until now. 

Then J walked jauntily away. 

After a moment he looked back to see K still cast there against the wall, staring after him, the barest picayune of doubt on the older man's face. 'Come on, K,' J happily called out. 'We've got work to do.' 

At last Agent K straightened up, smoothed his suit, and strode coolly after his partner. 

♦

His second day on the job, J helped K save the Earth and even the whole damned universe as they knew it. Just another day for the Men in Black. This was a _great_ job. 

♦

But that was when K announced he wanted to forget it all, leave the MiB behind, and go lead a normal life. Literally forget it all: he handed J the flash-thingy and showed him how to set it not only for days, but for months and years. J's heart was clutched up painfully in his chest. 

'They're beautiful, aren't they?' K said, looking up at the night sky. 'The stars. I never just look anymore, but they actually are… quite beautiful.' 

'K,' J warned him, 'you're frightening your partner.' 

'I haven't been training a partner – I've been training a replacement.' 

J came _this_ close to panicking. 'Hey, I can't do this job by myself!' 

K calmly indicated Dr. Laurel Weaver waiting nearby. She'd helped them bust the Bug, thereby saving the Earth and the whole damned universe. 'Maybe you won't have to.' 

Well, that was cool. J could work with Laurel. Agent L. She was alarmingly intelligent and sexy and assertive and totally weird. Yeah, that was cool. 

However, J had gotten awfully fond of K over the past couple of days… 'This is the ultimate I-won't-call-you jive,' J complained. 'But, you know, that's OK. I'll do fine.' 

'Of course you will, tiger.' K grinned at him, and there was something genuine lurking behind the expression. 

J slid his own Ray-Bans on, and slipped K's out of the breast-pocket of the man's suit – K allowed the little intimacy – then J handed the dark glasses over to Dr. Weaver, gesturing for her to put them on. After a moment's puzzled resistance, she did so, not realizing they were protection – she'd been flash-thingy'd more than enough lately, and J figured she didn't need to forget all this, especially not if she was being recruited. 

'Goodbye, Kyle,' J said. 

'James,' K responded with a nod. 

J activated the device. The brightest light he'd ever seen briefly illuminated the looming building that housed MiB headquarters. And K, or at least the K that J knew, was gone. 

♦

K was numb and docile and malleable for hours, having lost thirty-five years' worth of memories. He was even handsomer than before, with his face curiously innocent, and the world-weariness sloughed off like an old skin. J missed the wry wit, though, the sharp intelligence. 

The man must have been planning for this all along; reclaiming his hope, maybe, and wanting his faith back. Those last two days, K would have been experiencing his life as an MiB Agent to the full, exploring the weird and the wise and the unwise, making sure he was ready to leave it all behind. Making sure there was nothing to stay for. And even J hadn't been quite enough… That's what the sex had been about. Just making sure. Well, that and an undeniably powerful attraction to J, of course. 

The arrangements were easy enough to make. J got things sorted out with Z's help, and then drove a still-docile K out to a lonely road in Massachusetts. This was the place where aliens had first met with the Men in Black; young Kyle had blundered in on the encounter, a bunch of flowers in hand, and he'd left his old life behind. 

J drove around until he found the exact place, and then helped K climb out of the car. 'You've been in a coma all this time,' J told him, implanting a few new memories in lieu of those Kyle was missing. 'Thirty-five years, you've been in a coma. And right now all you want to do –' J leaned back into the car, grabbed the flowers he'd bought, and then wrapped K's hands around them – 'all you want is to give these to your sweetheart Elizabeth. All right?' 

Kyle nodded vaguely, and echoed, 'Elizabeth.' It was the first word he'd said since the flash-thingy went off. 'I remember Elizabeth.' He looked down at the flowers, and nodded again. 'There's a dance tonight.' 

'Yeah, that's right, there was a dance that night thirty-five years ago.' J wondered what else to tell the guy, but maybe that was enough. 'Hey, I figure you can make it on your own from there, OK?' Well, perhaps he had one last piece of advice… 'You give her the best of you, Kyle. Because that's what you deserve.' It wouldn't do to kiss K farewell, so instead J dragged him into a hug; and then he turned Kyle around and sent him on his way with a little push. Under his breath J began singing: _Wise men say only fools rush in…_

And J knew it would be fine when K quietly took up the song and began walking. _But I can't help falling in love with you…_

♦

'What are we doing up here?' L asked. 

'Just looking,' J replied. With a broad gesture he invited her to gaze around at the lights and the stars. 'If Manhattan ever looks beautiful, it's from the top of the Empire State Building on a night like tonight.' 

She nodded, wandering around the viewing platform, taking it all in. And then her gaze returned to J, intimately intent though she was fifteen feet away. With a tiny frown she said, 'You know, J, you have such pretty eyes… but I feel as if I've told you that before.' 

J smiled. This was the second time, but he wasn't about to divulge that unless she figured it out for herself. Mainly because he figured she'd get pretty mad. 'Tell me again,' he suggested instead. 

'You have pretty eyes,' she said, and the compliment was genuine even though her tone was wry. 

J began slowly approaching her, a bit of funk in his step. 'You know what I like to do sometimes when it's _really_ late…?' 

She didn't know whether to be amused at his dance, or just plain confused by his words. 'You've asked me that before. Haven't you?' Well, _she'd_ asked _J_ , and in a morgue of all places, but that was on a strictly need-to-know basis. 'J, are you getting this weird sense of _deja vu?'_

He answered her obliquely, by quietly singing. _Like a river flows to the sea, so it goes; some things were meant to be…_

Rather than take up the song, as he'd meant her to, L strode up to him, then dragged J close with one hand round his nape, for a bold kiss. 

_Take my hand,_ the King crooned, _take my whole life, too, for I can't help falling in love with you._

L broke away for a moment, and considered her partner with a careful gaze. J happily soothed his hands around her slim waist, lingering over her hips before his palms sank to rub against the small of her back… 

'J?' 

'Yeah…?' he murmured, kind of breathless. 

'Did you or K ever use the neuralyzer on me?' 

Closing his eyes, J tried not to sag. 'Can't we talk about this in the morning?' 

'No.' 

Oh _darn_ it… The mood was in danger of evaporating, and demanded one last valiant effort. 'L,' J said, looking directly at her, 'the world's a bigger, crazier place than we ever suspected. Let yesterday go, and… imagine what you'll know tomorrow.' 

J waited through a long moment. 

'OK,' L finally said, 'but did you use the neuralyzer on me?' 

Giving up, J admitted, 'Yes. K did.' 

She nodded, as if this was merely confirmation. If it was J, he'd be furious. 'More than once,' L added, like she knew. 

'Yeah. Sorry. And I can only help fill in a couple of the blanks…' 

Another moment passed while she thought about it some more. And then she stepped close again, and pressed her long gorgeous body up against his, all sudden and firm. 'We'll talk about it in the morning,' L announced. Then she smiled the smile of a satisfied hunter. 'For now, J… just imagine what we can do tonight.' 

And J gave her the best of himself. Because that was what they both deserved. 

♦


End file.
